The trash basket is more or less installed in the kitchen sink to keep the dog out of it while you are at work.
You can't see out the passenger side window of your car because of all the little nose smudges all over the window.
Your dog sleeps with you.
You like people who like your dog and despise people who don't.
You carry dog biscuits in your purse and pockets at all time.
When you mail out the Christmas cards you stamp your pet's paw print next to the rest of the family's names.
You and your dog come down with the flu on the same day.
Your dog sees the vet, while you settle for an over the counter remedy from the drugstore.
You put an extra blanket on your bed just to make your dog comfortable.
Pet Poetry
Dog's reminders to self
Dog Dictionary
If you can...
A rescue dog's Christmas poem
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I am under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge or sofa nor will I hide them under the bed or between the cushions of the couch.
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE I enter the house.
5. I will not eat the cat's food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house to get sick on.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
9. I will not fart in my owner's face when I am sleeping on the pillow next to their head.
10.The cat is not a squeaky toy that I can play with.
11.The diaper pail is not the cookie jar.
12. When in the car, I will not insist insist on having the windows down when it's freezing outside.
13. I will not roll around in the dirt after I just have a bath.
14. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the room and clean myself when we have company.
Leash- A strap that attaches to your collar; it enables you to pull your master anywhere you want to go.
Dog Bed- Any clean soft surface, such as a white bed, the bed in the guest room, or the new couch in the living room.
Drool- This is what you do whenever your master is eating and you want them to share with you. It's best to sit as close as possible to them at this time so that hopefully, some will fall on the floor or on their laps.
Sniff- A social custom to use when you greet other dogs . You just put your nose as close as possible to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply. Do this until your master makes you stop.
Bicycles- Two wheeled exercise machines that where invented to control body fat. To get the most benefit from this you must dash out from behind a bush, bark loudly and run alongside the person until they swerve and fall off the bike into the bushes then prance away.
Garbage Can- A container used by your neighbors to test your ingenuity. Stand on your hind legs and push the lid off with your nose. Then get all the good stuff inside!
Deafness- This effects dogs when their owners want them to stay outside but they want to say inside. Symptoms include: Staring blankly at the person with a cute innocent look or running in the opposite direction.
Thunder- This is a signal that means the world is coming to an end. Most humans remain amazingly calm during this time, so you must bark loudly, roll your eyes and do whatever necessary to get their attention.
Wastebasket- This is a puppy toy that is filled with paper, envelopes and maybe some old candy wrappers. Just turn it over and have at!
Sofas- Every dog needs a sofa. After playing outside in the dirt just run and jump on it.
Bath-This is a when a human drenches you and themselves in the unsuccessful effort to keep you clean. You can help by shaking.
Love- Is a feeling of intense devotion and affection. The best way to show your love is to wag your tail.
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your problems,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when no fault is yours,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor one,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without drugs,
If you can honestly say with all your heart that you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, status, or politics,
Then, my friend, you are almost as good as a dog!
'Tis the night before Christmas and all through the town, every shelter is full-We are lost but not found
Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare, we hope every minute that someone will care.
They'll come to adopt us and give us a call,
"Come here Sammy and Sparky-fetch your new ball"
Now we sit here and think of the days....
we were treated so fondly because we had cute baby ways
Once we were little, then we grew and grew, now we're no longer young or new.
So, out the back door we are thrown like trash,
they reacted so quickly, why are they so rash?
We "jump on the children", "don't come when they call"
We "bark when they leave us", "climb over the wall"
We should have been neutered, we should have been spayed. now we suffer the error of their ways.
If only they had trained us, if only we knew....
We would have done what they asked of us
We were left in the backyard or just let out to roam,
now we're tired and lonely and out of a home.
They dropped us off and kissed us goodbye.
"Maybe someone else will give you a try"
So, now, I lay here in this shelter all alone
with all the others here that have no home
The kind workers come through with a meal and a ear scratch, but because they have many to care for, they can't stay and chat. They move on to each kennel and give us all some cheer.. We know they wonder how long we will be here. We lay down to sleep and the sweet dreams fill our heads, of a home filled with love and a cozy little bed.
Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears. Our friends are filled with sadness , worry, and fear. If you can't adopt us and there is no room for us here, could you please help pay the bills and feed our feed bin? We count on your kindness every day ofthe year, can you give hope to the sad ones that are here.
Please make a donation to pay for the heat....
and help get us something special to eat.
The shelter that cares for us wants to live,
If only more people would give.
Things we can learn from our pets
Be loyal
Never pretend to be something your not
If what you want lies buried, dig til you find it.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do
When loved ones come home always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they are invading your territory.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Run, romp, and play daily.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close, and nuzzle them gently.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you've had enough.
Now I lay me down to sleep
The king size bed is soft and deep
I sleep right in the center groove
My human being can hardly move!
I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight
And here is where I pass the night
Noone disturbs me or dares intrude
Till morning comes and "I want food!"
I sneak up slowly to begin
nibbling on my human's chin
She wakes up quickly,
I have sharp teeth-
I'm a puppy, don't you see?
For the morning is here and it's time to play
I always seem to get my way.
So, thank you Lord for giving me
This human person that I see.
The one who hugs and holds me tight
And shares my bed with me at night!
A puppy's prayer
How could you?
When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was bad you would shake your finger at me and say "How could you? " but then you would relent and roll me over for a belly rub.
My housebreaking took a little bit longer than expected because you were busy but we worked on it together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams. I believed that life could not be more perfect. We went for long walks and runs together in the park, car rides and stopped for ice cream. I got the cone because you said Ice cream was bad for dogs. I took naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of each day.
Gradually, you began to spend more time at work and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments and never chided you about bad decisions. I romped with glee at your homecomings and then you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a dog person-still I welcomed her into our home and tried to show her affection and I obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.
The the human babies came and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated at their pinkness, how they smelled and I wanted to mother them too. Only she and you were worried that I would hurt them, so I spent most of my time banished to the other room. Oh, how I wanted to love them but I became a prisoner of love instead.
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly little legs, poked fingers into my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch because your touch was so infrequent now. I would have defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds at night and listen to their worries and dreams and together we waited for the sound of your car coming home.
There was a time when someone asked if you had a dog, and you would produce a picture of me from your wallet. These past few years you just answered "Yes, I have a dog." I went from being your dog to a dog and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city where you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You have made the right choice for you and your family, but there was a time when I was your family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the shelter. It smelled of fear and hopelessness.
You filled out the paperwork and said " I know you will find a good home for her." They just shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understood the realities facing a middle aged dog, even one with "papers". You had to pry your son's fingers from my collar as he screamed. And I worriedfor him and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty and love and responsibility and respect for life, all life! You gave me a goodbye pat on the head and refused to meet my eyes. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably made no attempt to find me a new home. They shook their heads and said "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us as their busy schedules allow. They feed us but I stopped eating days ago. At first, when anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front hoping you had changed your mind or that it was someone who may save me.
When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking puppies, oblivious to their fate, I retreated to the back corner and waited.
I heard her footprints as she came for me one day. I padded along the aisle with her to a quiet room.
She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears and told me not to worry, My heart pounded but there was also relief.
As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden she bears weighs heavily on her. I know that the same as I know your every move. She gently placed the tourniquet on my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her had in the same way I used to comfort you. She expertly slid the needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through me, slowing my heart, I lay down sleepily, looked into her eyed and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dog speak , she said "I am so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained that it was her job to make sure I would not be ignored, abused, or abandoned and that I went to a better place, one filled with light and love, one so different from this earthly place.
With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey this with a thump of my tail that my "How could you" was not directed at her. It was you, Beloved Master, that I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life show you such loyalty.
by Jim Willis
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
-Author unknown-
Rainbow Bridge is dedicated to Sammy. I miss you; you truly are never absent from my heart or my thoughts.
Whispering Pines Treasures
How to Photograph Your Puppy
1. Remove film from box and load camera
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
4. Choose a suitable background for photo
5. Mount camera on tripod, check flash and focus
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand while fending off puppy with other hand
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens
11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
12. Put magazines back on coffee table
13. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head
14. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
15. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say - "NO, NO, OUTSIDE !"
16. Call spouse to help clean up the mess
17. Fix a drink
18. Sit back in chair, put your feet up, sip your drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
By Anonymous
"Bulldog Rules"
Author: Unkown
1. The bulldog is not allowed the run of the house.
2. Okay, the bulldog is allowed to roam in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. The bulldog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The bulldog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the bulldog is allowed on all furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Okay, the bulldog is allowed on the bed, but by invitation only.
7. The bulldog can sleep on the bed whenever it wants, but under the covers.
8. The bulldog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.
9. The bulldog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the bulldog.
Moral of the story: Bulldogs don't have to follow the rules!
